Part Four of the Khalil Short Play Series

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THE REHEARSAL - (c) 2006 Cherie Renae

Khalil is loosely based upon my own grandfather, who lived to be 99. He lived to the last with my grandmother in their own home. Family and friends were always dropping by to visit. Their house, and especially their kitchen, still hold special memories for me.

Characters: Khalil, a man in his early 90's; Joe, a man in his 80's, the widower of Khalil's late cousin, Marian; May, Khalil's wife; Esther, Joe's lady friend;Pastor Smith, a female pastor; Stella, Esther's sister and maid of honor

Scene 1: A kitchen with a table, two chairs, a coffee pot, two coffee mugs, and an old black-and-white TV with rabbit ears.

(Joe & Khalil at the kitchen table)

Joe: Khalil. We need to talk.

Khalil: Whoo-boy. What's with all this talking? First time we talked, you wound up with a girl friend. Next time we talked, we wound up dancing together!

Joe: You gave me good advice, Khalil – now I'm going to marry Esther! And you taught me how to waltz for my wedding.

Khalil: Yes, and the girls came in and caught us prancing around like ballerinas. It gives me a headache to remember it. I don't want to talk.

Joe: I thought you were my friend.

Khalil: I am your friend, Joe. Does that mean we have to talk?

Joe: Friends talk. So, maybe we're not friends.

Khalil: Of course we're friends! (He sighs.) Ok, fine. So we talk. What do we need to talk about?

Joe: Well, you know that Esther and I are getting married. The thing is, I need a best man. So, I figure, my best friend should be my best man. Will you stand up with me at the wedding?

Khalil: Stand up? I can barely get to the bathroom. I have the gout.

Joe: You don't have the gout! You haven't had the gout for months. And you walk a mile every day. Please Khalil, this is important.

Khalil: OK, fine. I'll stand up with you. Will it be a short ceremony? I can't stand forever, you know.

Joe: It will be a short ceremony. At the church. Just a few friends.

Khalil: Do I have to wear a suit?

Joe: Well, of course you have to wear a suit! It's a wedding - what did you think you would wear, Bermuda shorts?

Khalil: I don't know. It might be a hot day, you never know. My suits are wool, and wool gets itchy in warm weather.

Joe: Khalil!

Khalil: (laughing) I'm just kidding! Boy, you need to relax. This marriage stuff has taken away your humor.

Joe: My humor's fine. It's my friends that I wonder about.

Khalil: Ha!

Joe: Oh, and another thing. Since you're part of the wedding party, you need to come to the rehearsal. It's this Friday.

Khalil: A rehearsal? What do we need to rehearse? She says, “I do.” You say, “I do.” You put a ring on her finger, although if it's hot, her fingers might be swollen, and then you'll never get it on. Remember when Grace and Michael got married? He stood there for five minutes, trying to shove it over her knuckle! Does Esther have the arthritis? You'll need a bigger ring if she has the arthritis.

Joe: She doesn't have arthritis. And her fingers won't be swollen. It will be fine!

Khalil: So, fine. So you put the ring on her finger just fine. Then you kiss her. Make sure your dentures are in tight. Whoo-boy, you don't want them to come loose while you're kissing her, there in front of everybody! That would be more embarrassing than us dancing. Then you walk her down the aisle. So what do we need to rehearse?

Joe: I don't know. In the premarital counseling class, Pastor Smith said we need to rehearse.

Khalil: You're in counseling already? You're not even married yet!

Joe: It's not that kind of counseling. These days, everyone who gets married has to go for counseling, to make sure you know how to be a husband and stuff. Anyway, the pastor said we need to rehearse.

Khalil: Are you sure she was talking about the ceremony?

Joe: Khalil!

Khalil: Just asking.

Joe: There's a dinner after the rehearsal, so both you and May are invited. Be at the church at 4 o'clock on Friday.

Khalil: May and I will be there.

(close curtain)

Scene 2: A pulpit/lectern at stage left, facing stage right. Other church type ornamentations, as desired.

(At the church. The pastor stands by the pulpit. Khalil, May, Esther, Stella and Joe enter stage right.) 

Pastor: Good afternoon, Khalil! It's so good to see you.

Khalil: Good afternoon, Pastor. Thank you. I haven't been to church lately because I have the gout. '

Joe: Khalil, you don't ---

Khalil: So what do you think of these two lovebirds? I think Joe's molting a bit, myself…( he chuckles)

May: (Elbows Khalil in the ribs) Khalil! Be nice.

Khalil: (rubbing his ribs) You should be careful. An old man like me, if I break a rib, I'll never heal. Maybe you just want to get rid of me.

May: What kind of a thing is that to say in front of the Pastor? (to Pastor Smith) Pastor, forgive him. He's an old man.

Pastor: No apology needed. We appreciate Khalil's wry perspective. He's been missed.

Khalil: You hear that? Some people appreciate me.

Pastor: Well, we're all here. (To Stella) Welcome to our church, Mrs. ---

Stella: Oh, just call me Stella. I'm Esther's sister. Her younger sister. You have any younger brothers, Joe? How about an older one? At my age, you can't be too picky.

(Everyone laughs.)

Pastor: Shall we take our places?

(May sits down. Pastor, Khalil and Joe stand at the front, beside the pulpit. Stella and Esther walk to stage right.) 

Pastor: OK. Stella, you will walk down the aisle first, and come stand to my left, leaving room for Esther. Then, Esth—

Khalil: The carpet's loose there by the back pew, Stella. Be careful there. A woman your age, you don't want to break a hip.

May: Khalil! What do you mean, a woman her age? She's at least twenty years younger than you, you old goat! Don't insult the bride's sister!

Khalil: What insult? She's not a spring chick. Bones get brittle with age, especially women's . I'm very in-tune with women's needs. I read that Redbook when I'm at the doctor's office. And at my age, I'm always at the doctor's office.

Pastor: (smoothly interrupting) We'll make sure that piece of carpet is fixed before Sunday. Thank you for mentioning it, Khalil.

Khalil: You're welcome. (In a stage whisper to May) Some people appreciate me!

May: Humph!

Pastor: Esther, once Stella is at my side, you start slowly down the aisle. The organist will play a different tune then. What did you choose for the wedding procession?

Esther: We're playing Air from Handel's Water Music Suite.

Pastor: That's right. Lovely! So, Esther, let's pretend the music has begun. Slowly begin walking down the aisle. Perfect.

Joe: (To Khalil) I think I'm going to cry. Even in a pants suit, isn't she beautiful?

Khalil: (In a husky voice) Oh, Joe. I'm so happy for you. You deserve every happiness. Now, look – you're making me start. (he wipes his eye.) Men don't cry.

Joe: I cried plenty when Marian died. I still cry at Christmas.

Khalil: Me, too. I miss my cousin. We were like brother and sister. She was a good woman. But we love Esther. She's family now. (He pats his friend's hand.) You and me, we're family. We'll always be family.

(Both men pull out handkerchiefs, and wipe their eyes.) 

May: Isn't it usually the women who cry at weddings? You two are just big softies. That's why I love you, Khalil.

Khalil: I love you too, May. (He gazes lovingly at her.)

(Esther reaches the front of the church, and joins hands with Joe. He hugs her, and they kiss.)

Khalil: Are those dentures in good and tight, Joe?

Joe: (Stops kissing Esther, looks at Khalil.) Good and tight, my friend.

May: Khalil!

(Joe resumes kissing Esther. Curtain close.)

THE END

---(c) 2006 Cherie Renae - may not be reproduced without permission

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